Why Do Parents Not Understand Our Generation?
Why do parents not understand our generation
Parents and their children often feel like they live in completely different worlds. As the older generation, parents frequently struggle to relate to the rapidly-changing culture and technologies that shape their kids’ day-to-day lives. Meanwhile, children and teens can find their parents old-fashioned, overprotective, and unable to understand the social issues important to youth today.
Generational divides have always existed
This gap between parents and children is not new. Generational divides have been around for centuries. After all, the world changes fast. Each generation grows up with their own slang, music preferences, political causes, and sources of stress.
However, there are a few key reasons why the parent-child gap seems to be wider than ever in today’s world:
Technology moves faster than ever
Today’s youth are true “digital natives.” They have grown up in a fully digitized, internet-connected environment. Smartphones, social media apps, online streaming sites, and more make up their daily habitat.
Compare this to their parents, who had analog childhoods centered around offline activities. These “digital immigrant” parents can feel lost navigating all the new technologies their kids use constantly. They may struggle to monitor and understand their children’s online behaviors.
Kids live life online
Consider that the average teen today spends over 7 hours per day on screens, mainly smartphones. They chat with friends on Instagram and Snapchat, discover new personalities on YouTube and TikTok, research homework answers on Google, stream their favorite music and shows, and more. Their social lives, hobbies, and sources of information exist online.
Parents have trouble grasping this always-connected lifestyle if they did not grow up this way themselves. They may underestimate the massive role technology plays in their children’s learning, relationships, mental health, and view of the world. Unable to relate, the technological gap between the generations grows wider.
Can’t keep up with new platforms
Additionally, just as parents are catching up to platforms like Facebook, their children have already migrated to new social spaces like Discord or BeReal where parents cannot monitor them well. This constantly evolving internet landscape means parents struggle to keep up with where their kids spend time online.
Without context, parents may panic or make inaccurate assumptions about new apps. Generational tensions flare when teens feel intruded upon or unfairly limited in their digital habits.
Social issues have changed
Today’s youth care deeply about issues like racial injustice, rights, climate change, and mental health awareness. With platforms like social media allowing marginalized groups to find a voice, kids are far more vocal about social reform than past generations at their age.
However, their parents came of age in different political and cultural climates. They may care about updated versions of historical issues like the economy, law enforcement, or national security.
Parents seem outdated
As a result, parents can seem behind-the-times when they critique their children’s more progressive stances or do not know the modern language around inclusivity. Teens call them “boomers” dismissively when parents just do not get concepts like gender pronouns, cultural appropriation, or neurodiversity.
Both sides can feel like the other remains ignorant or callous around deeply important social causes. These moral disagreements drive intense generational divides.
Different motivations and mindsets
Lastly, fundamental differences exist in how parents think compared to their children:
Parents are protective
To parents, their children will always be their precious babies needing protection. They have a hard time accepting their kids’ growing independence and maturity. Out of love and concern, their parenting style stays controlling long after it is age-appropriate.
Of course, youth crave autonomy as they develop their own views and priorities. Clashing mindsets around independence fuel many family arguments.
Focus on safety vs. focus on passion
Relatedly, parents worry obsessively about safety, while their kids want the freedom to explore their interests. Cautionary parents ban activities like walking alone or trying risky hobbies. However, teens see them as irrational obstacles between themselves and adulthood.
Parents just want their children healthy and secure. But children prioritize passion, creativity, and carving out their identity. Getting parents to understand this quest for self-actualization can be difficult.
Future vs present thinking
Parents tend to think ahead to their children’s long-term wellbeing, like their college plans or future careers. So they push kids to always work hard and make smart choices. But children and teens are wired to focus on immediate payoffs like fun times with friends, consuming entertainment media, or expressing their identity.
It is fundamentally harder for parents to empathize with their kid’s present-centered thinking. After all, their top priority is their children’s success 5, 10, or 20 years down the line.
Bridging the divide
While major generational divides seem inevitable between parents and youth today, proactive steps can bring more mutual understanding:
Set aside device-free time where genuine conversations can happen without digital distraction. Go on walks together or play board games to bond away from screens.
Share favorite apps or music to exchange perspectives on your digital habits and interests. Teach parents about the sites important in your life so they worry less.
Discuss social issues openly even when you disagree. Seek first to understand the values behind each other’s stances rather than attacking surface-level opinions. Find common ground.
At the end of the day, accepting each other’s vastly different upbringings helps diminish judgment. No one is fully right or wrong – the generational gap today simply reflects how much innovation has occurred across society, culture, and tech.
While growing up digital comes with unique risks, it also empowers young people to build a brighter future. Parents must understand how this connected world requires updated guidance so youth can thrive being their authentic selves.
And children must forgive parents’ overprotectiveness or lack of context around new youth trends. Recognize their guidance comes from deep love, even if it feels misplaced.
With compassion and gradual exposure to each other’s worlds, family relationships can be enriched across generational lines.