Finding out your partner has cheated can be devastating. The betrayal of trust cuts deep, and it makes you question everything about the relationship. As painful as it is, many couples do try to repair the damage and move forward after infidelity.
However, even if you’ve decided to end things, your cheating ex may find themselves missing you more than they ever imagined.
Do Cheaters Miss Their Ex
According to relationship experts, here are some of the key signs that indicate a cheating ex is still longing for their old flame:
1. They Make Excuses to Contact You
When someone can’t stop thinking about you, they’ll look for any excuse to reach out. Your ex may text you random questions or concerns as a pretext to spark a conversation.
For example, they may inquire about practical matters like mail you were meant to receive or possessions left behind at their place. Even though these issues could be resolved without contacting you, your ex jumps at the chance to connect.
Don’t be surprised if they slide into your DMs about mundane topics or shared contacts and accounts. These lame excuses to talk are rooted in a deeper desire to hear your voice and get your attention. If your ex-cheater is fishing for reasons to contact you, they likely regret their actions and miss having you in their life.
2. Mutual Friends Hint That Your Ex Asks About You
Even if your ex doesn’t have the courage to speak to you directly, they may be pumping your mutual connections for updates. Friends who have contact with both you and your ex can provide insights into whether their interest is more than just nostalgia.
Has a close confidant mentioned that your ex has been asking after you frequently? Do they want all the details about how you’ve been holding up post-breakup? When your ex secretly gathers intel about you through friends, they’re clearly not over you.
They may be too ashamed of their infidelity to reach out to you directly. But mellow inquiries via mutual pals suggest your ex is missing you big time.
3. Their Social Media Activity Shows They’re Paying Attention
In today’s hyper-connected world, social media offers plenty of clues into your ex’s mindset. Watch for activity that shows they are still keeping tabs on you digitally.
For instance, your ex may like and comment more on your posts now than ever before. Seeing your ex constantly pop up in your notifications is evidence they obsessively follow your feeds.
Or your ex may post ambiguous vaguebooking messages after you upload pictures or updates. The timing of their cryptic posts could align suspiciously with your increased activity.
Even if your ex doesn’t engage directly, social media lurking and passive-aggressive posts indicate you’re still on their mind.
4. You Catch Them Driving or Walking By Your Home
When separated exes desperately miss each other, they may find excuses to casually drive or walk by their former flame’s home. Even if they don’t plan to knock on your door, just seeing where you live helps provide a sense of connection. It brings back fond memories of time spent at your place.
If you keep noticing your ex’s car cruising past your house at odd hours, it’s likely not a coincidence. Or you may spot them walking the dog right around your block multiple times a week. Hanging around your neighborhood when they have no other reason to be there means your ex secretly longs to be close to you again.
5. You Run Into Them Around Town More Frequently
Bumping into an ex around town can be chalked up to pure coincidence. However, if you keep seeing your ex suspiciously often at places you frequent, something more intentional may be at play. A cheating ex who misses you could be orchestrating opportunities to casually cross paths.
Maybe you continuously run into each other at the gym when you rarely did before. Or they suddenly seem to be a regular at your favorite coffee shop or bar. If your ex finds flimsy justifications for public sightings, it’s a definite sign you’re still on their mind. They are likely hoping these “chance” encounters will spark reconciliation.
6. They Text You Out of The Blue
One of the most direct signs your cheating ex wants you back is when they text you weeks or months after the breakup expressing remorse. A random “I miss you” or “I screwed up” message indicates your ex regrets their actions and betrayal. This late admission of guilt and longing is their transparent attempt to see if you are open to rekindling things.
Your ex may claim they were “cleaning out their closet” and came across something that reminded them of you. Or they wanted to check in because they “had a dream you were upset.” Even flimsy excuses for reaching out convey that you are still firmly on their mind and they want to connect.
7. They View and Comment On All Your LinkedIn Posts
In the age of digital footprints, LinkedIn activity can also reveal your ex’s lingering attachment. If your ex-cheater isn’t connected to you professionally, they have no reason to be invested in your job updates and promotions. Yet an ex who clicks and engages with all your career-related posts clearly still cares.
Seeing their name constantly pop up with praise for your accomplishments shows your success matters to them. And despite their infidelity, they take pride in your workplace achievements. This type of supportive digital engagement is a sign your ex feels remorseful and misses having an active role in your life.
8. They Get Defensive or Jealous When You Mention Dating
Even if your cheating ex doesn’t admit it, they may get weirdly possessive or resentful at the idea of you moving on. When you subtly reference going on dates or chatting with new romantic interests, what is your ex’s reaction? Do they make snide remarks meant to undermine your new prospects? Or do they mask envy with false enthusiasm?
Your ex’s suppressed jealousy or protectiveness emerges because, on some level, they still consider you “theirs.” Your love life moving forward clearly bothers them, even if they try to play it cool. This involuntary response exposes that your ex isn’t fully over you. It also suggests they have regrets about cheating and losing you.
9. They Openly Talk About Wanting You Back
In some cases, a remorseful cheating ex may confess directly that they want a second chance. They may send long text apologies explaining how they made the biggest mistake of their life. Or they could even show up on your doorstep unannounced, bearing flowers and vowing to earn back your trust. These actions obviously prove your ex feels guilty about how things ended.
A full-on plea to reconcile also conveys just how much your ex misses the companionship, intimacy, and support you shared. Even if you’re hesitant to restart a relationship with someone who was unfaithful, their overt efforts demonstrate having you in their life again matters deeply.
10. Their Close Friends Reveal They’re Depressed Without You
Even when exes keep their feelings hidden, mutual connections could share insights into their mindset post-breakup. You may hear from friends that your cheating ex has been sullen and despondent since you parted ways. Ex-lovers who badly miss their former partners often withdraw socially and sulk at home alone.
If your ex admitted to close confidants that losing you was the source of their despair, it’s clear they deeply regret their straying ways. Your absence has left a void in their life that no distractions or replacements can seem to fill. You obviously meant far more to this ex than they realized until you were gone. Their profound sadness at losing you conveys just how strong their lingering attachment remains.
11. They Turn Up Drunk Proclaiming Their Love
When tipsy exes show up declaring their undying devotion, it can be a problematic sign. In vino veritas – under the influence of alcohol, your ex may feel emboldened to express suppressed emotions. The drinking reduces their inhibitions about contacting you or showing up uninvited. In these intoxicated encounters, your ex may desperately profess that you’re the love of their life. They may tearfully swear no one has ever come close to you.
While understandable, take these drunken declarations with a grain of salt. In the sober light of day, your ex may retreat into avoidance again. However, the core truth beneath their alcohol-fueled outpouring is that losing you has shaken them to their core. Their sloppy late-night ramblings show just how much missing you consumes their thoughts.
In the aftermath of betrayal, it’s normal to have complicated feelings if your cheating ex tries to reconcile. While infidelity is incredibly painful, relationships are complex. In some cases, exes who stray come to genuinely regret their decisions once the thrill wears off.
Recognizing the subtle and overt ways exes signal their longing can help you make informed choices on what comes next. With time and perspective, both parties may be able to heal wounds and move forward in or out of the relationship.